In the midst of this chaotic world, where hope seems like a distant memory, it is time to embrace the upcoming year with resolutions that reflect our pessimistic reality. As we bid farewell to another year filled with disappointment and despair, let us embark on a journey towards an even bleaker future in 2024. Here are thirty resolution ideas that will make your life more miserable, uncertain, and devoid of any happiness.
Avoid Any Form of Exercise or Physical Activity
Why bother engaging in physical activity when you can simply succumb to lethargy? Embrace a sedentary lifestyle and watch as your health deteriorates before your very eyes. Say goodbye to vitality and welcome ailments with open arms.
Indulge in Unhealthy Eating Habits
Toss aside those leafy greens and opt for greasy fast food instead. Fill your body with processed junk that will only contribute to weight gain, heart disease, and overall misery. Remember: every bite brings you closer to an early grave.
Nurture Toxic Relationships
Cling onto toxic relationships like they are lifelines amidst the stormy sea of existence. Surround yourself with people who drain your energy, manipulate your emotions, and bring out the worst in you. After all, what’s life without constant emotional turmoil?
Procrastinate at Every Opportunity
Why be productive when you can put off tasks until they become insurmountable mountains of stress? Embrace procrastination as a way of life; revel in missed deadlines and sleepless nights spent catching up on unfinished work.
Spend Excessive Amounts of Time on Social Media
Escape the harsh realities of life by immersing yourself in the shallow world of social media. Compare your mundane existence to carefully curated highlight reels, and let feelings of inadequacy consume you. Remember, happiness is just a double-tap away.
Conclusion
In conclusion, as we enter 2024 with trepidation and uncertainty, let us embrace these resolutions that will undoubtedly make our lives more miserable, hopeless, and devoid of any joy. By avoiding exercise, indulging in unhealthy habits, nurturing toxic relationships, procrastinating endlessly, and succumbing to the allure of social media validation; we can ensure that this year will be nothing short of an abysmal journey into despair.